The No Good Very Bad Day(s)

Wow-wee. It’s strange how much one event can effect so many other things throughout the day.

Yesterday I woke up just like any other day. I got myself ready for work, made some lunch and packed up my gym bag. It was the day after a big snow storm, and I was frustrated as I walked out into the snow to shovel off my car, Hank, again.

My drive to work is super short. Five minutes on a good day, seven minutes when there’s traffic. I make a total of 3 turns to get there and drive a maximum of 25mph. Yesterday was no different; except it was going to be a slower commute than normal, and I knew it. The roads had yet to be plowed because they were trying to keep up with the storm, and so my entire commute was covered with a 3 inch-or-so layer of snow/slush/ice.

Hank has never done well in the snow…ever. Maybe it’s me, or maybe it’s his tires, but I’ve lost control while driving on just a few inches of slush more times than I’m comfortable with. So more often than not, I’m that asshole on the road who is going 20mph slower than I should, just because there’s a few inches on the road. Sorry, aggressive drivers.

I started my trek to work and was feeling anxious about it. Even though I only had to make a few turns and potentially stop at a handful of red lights, the conditions made me uneasy. Even being from Buffalo, I always work myself up too much about driving in anything aside from a bright, clear day. As I was driving down the road at approximately 6mph, I felt my tires slide a bit.

I jokingly yelled “woah!” to my empty car, because I’ve slid enough times at a slow speed to learn how to take control of it; at least a little. I straightened back out, gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, and continued on to work. I kept telling myself “almost there,” as I stayed at roughly 6mph. I begged red lights to turn green, and green lights to stay that way, gripping the steering wheel tighter as I had to stop at a red light and not slide into the car in front of me.

I was close. I was so close to work. Then, it happened. I felt my tires slide out again. I was going so slow that I actually had the time to say “ugh, come on, seriously?” as I slid into a pile of snow on the side of the road.

Great. Awesome. It happened again. I tried to back out, but I was stuck, of course. So I grabbed the small shovel from my trunk (if I learned anything from living in Buffalo it’s to have a shovel in your car ALWAYS), and tried to make a game plan, because I was blocking an entire oncoming lane of traffic. I walked around to the front of my car and saw what I did not expect to see at the front of my car.

My entire bumper was shattered. I was moving so slow and smashed into snow and shattered my bumper. Plus, I was stuck without chance of getting myself out, blocking traffic.

Pop Quiz:
As an adult, you should:

A) Sob on the side of the road and hope that someone (attractive) saves you
B) Call AAA

I chose B. I was proud. I stood next to my car, as rubberneckers slowed to a crawl, waiting on my phone for roadside assistance who never answered, so I did something that happened for the first time ever in my life. I called the police…who answered on the fourth ring. Concerning? Slightly.

Time ticked by, and eventually two large men showed up to help me out…literally out. My tires spun and spun and I could smell the rubber. After a lot of car shaking and pushing and spinning my wheels, I was out, and my bumper was shattered. Now what?

I had half a shattered bumper in my trunk, and a choice to make. Risk driving Hank to work? Can I drive my car? I don’t know.

Fast forward. I got to work at 3mph, pissing off every car around me. Hank’s entire bumper is gone, shattered, open, gone. And now I have so many more adult choices to make.

Coincidentally I was planning to start shopping around for a new car this weekend, and I think this is a good enough reason to expedite the process. But then there’s more adult choices of buy or lease, invest money in a repair, when to buy…sigh.

The smash set off a chain of “bad day” events, stretching all the way into the next day. Work was stressful, I had a bad run at the gym, couldn’t find parking spots anywhere all night…and couldn’t switch my wireless internet provider like I thought I could.

So now I’m doing so many adult things I can’t keep my head straight. Insurance, car shopping, dealing with cable service providers…am I 23 or 43?

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