Finally, a Mental Breakdown.

Over the past week or so, I’ve told myself that I just need to have a good cry. Ever had that feeling? It’s a nice release of emotion – which I’ve needed lately. I recommend one.

Without going into all the details about why I’ve been so emotional (mostly frustration), I will describe what finally pushed me over the edge. Naturally, it was what many will call the root of all evil: money. I made the mistake (probably not a mistake) of looking at my bank account a few weeks after paying my credit card bill while at work and saw a number much lower than what I thought I was going to see. Panic. The dollar amount I saw was enough to support myself, but where did all my money go?

I scoured the account and my credit card statement, in hopes that I had overlooked something or even had my identity stolen…anything to make that tiny dollar amount grow. Nope, that small amount was 100%, totally, completely my own fault. I spun into a panic at work, which, looking back on it…was that worth it? No. Nothing could have been done to solve the problem right in that moment, but I let it ruin my whole day. I got in my car and drove home, holding back tears for most of my 30 minute ride, came home, and exploded.

I tend to assume the worst and overreact in situations like this, which made me come to the conclusion that I was going to have to stop eating, or driving every day to work to save money so that I could financially support myself once my student loans kick in next month. I didn’t really know what to do or how to handle it, so I spent a few hours before writing this blog post to actually think about my monthly expenses realistically, now that I’ve settled into the single-apartment life.

I found a site called mint.com that helps with budgeting, and there’s even an app you can download! I hope that it will help me have a better understanding of the money I’m spending each month. You can set budgets, attach your credit cards so that you can get notifications for your bills, and even create a student loan payment plans. I’m still nervous, but feeling much better after crying, ice cream, and breathing.

I’ve also applied for a part-time Marketing Director position that I was told about, which is a great way to soften that little “cushion” of money I clearly need to re-build. I’m frustrated that I have to work past my 40-hour/week job to escape this panic, but I can’t be too upset. I have a job, a bed, a roof, a car, and food. Not everyone can say the same.

 

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2 thoughts on “Finally, a Mental Breakdown.

  1. Jessica M Caputi says:

    Jackie Quackie, there is no such thing as a 40-hour work week, my dear. You are doing fine, and it is very important that you do have perspective enough to allow you to be thankful for what you do have. When you get overwhelmed, it is best to allow yourself that good cry, instead of bottling it up until it explodes. You can do it!

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